Here is a passage I wrote in my notes app when I was fresh out of college and was in a pretty vulnerable state. I wanted to share and hopefully help others shift into a healthier way of thinking:
(Mental Wellness)
I recently took a slight break from social media because I realized I wasn’t really posting for me. I was more focused on how my life looked rather than how it felt, and that eventually caught up to me. Don’t get me wrong… I am happy and I love to capture happy moments, but it seemed as if posting something just to post was my only motive at times. I like to think I am a pretty authentic person, and I love who I am, but there have been many times (especially recently) where I haven’t been authentic with myself and on social media. This eventually made me question my reality and bottle things in which never felt good. And some people may relate to this some people might not… and that is okay. A HUGE thing that I’ve realized is that everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions. There’s nothing you can do to change that, I mean you may have an influence, but ultimately it is not your job to control the actions and thoughts of others. I think sometimes it was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that not everyone is going to like me or agree with me. So, I often found myself only doing things to please others- which led me to disregard/avoid the things I needed to do for myself. But the temporary validation I was getting from everyone else was enough. And I never realized how empty I felt internally. Soon enough, everything became a big domino effect of irresponsibility, and it came from habit. I would impulsively do things that I would soon come to regret, because I never stopped to think about how something was going to affect ME. As long as people thought a certain way about me… then there’s no one else to prove it to. But hello??? Maybe prove it to yourself FIRST and THEN the recognition should come from it- and it will actually be genuine. I didn’t have that sense of responsibility and self-assurance that most people have, and I never really fully understood why until now. Coming to terms with this definitely hasn’t been easy but I refuse to dwell on the past especially after coming to this realization. You cannot keep replaying mistakes in your head you cannot beat yourself up and if you do, you’ll never be happy, and nothing will change. I had to take this time to myself and minimize the typical distractions to figure out how I want to live the rest of my life. I now only prioritize the things that make me feel good about myself and the confidence in simply knowing I am capable grows every day.
From here on out, I just want to share things that feel real and bring me genuine joy—not for the likes or validation, because I want to.
Take this as a reminder that it is okay to take time to yourself and just slow down so you can actually listen to yourself. Let all outside distractions go quiet and start doing things that resonate with you. It might sound scary but when you sit alone with your thoughts and emotions you find out what your mind, body and soul needs from YOU.
Sometimes you need to lose yourself to find yourself and That. Is. Okay
Things I did to improve my mood and self esteem:
Make better use of your free time-I ’ll admit it — I’m an active doomscroller, and I’m sure many of you can relate. It’s so easy to get lost on your phone; it feels comforting and gives that quick hit of dopamine. But research shows that the feeling fades almost instantly and can actually worsen your mood, heighten anxiety, stifle creativity, and create a disconnect from reality. Try replacing that time online with activities that genuinely benefit you, like reading, walking, listening to podcasts, or exploring new hobbies. The satisfaction you’ll get from those things lasts far longer, and next time you catch yourself scrolling the day away, remind yourself that you have a choice.
Understand your priorities- Ask yourself "What do I really care about right now?" not what others want for you, what sounds impressive, but what actually makes you feel fulfilled? Once you answer that question, start to visualize what that could look like for you. Prioritize the important things that make you feel accomplished fundamentally FIRST that way you can fully enjoy the fun, spontaneous moments in your life.
Declutter- Lately, I’ve been learning that decluttering my space really does declutter my mind. It’s amazing how much clearer I feel after cleaning out a closet, organizing my desk, or finally getting rid of things I’ve been holding onto “just in case.” A messy environment can quietly build up mental noise — every pile, every unfinished task in sight becomes a tiny reminder of chaos. When I take time to reset my surroundings, it feels like I’m giving myself permission to breathe again. The “clean room, clean mind” propaganda might sound cliché, but there’s so much truth to it.
Just go for it- In todays day and age we have endless options for almost everything. What to do, how to do it, who to do it with, and these options have been displayed all over the internet and social media. It can be very hard to settle and make a decision because we are worrying about making the perfect choice. I know for me, I get overstimulated from all of the ways I could do something and then end up not doing it at all. But what I have grown to learn is that it is not about making the perfect decision, it is about making one in general. Take the leap and go from there.
Make your goals manageable- When we set goals that are realistic and broken down into smaller steps, we’re more likely to stay motivated and build confidence with each bit of progress. Oversized or vague goals can easily become overwhelming, leading to procrastination or burnout. By keeping things manageable, we create space for consistency, reflection, and adjustment — all of which are essential for real growth. It’s not about limiting ourselves, but about setting ourselves up for success one achievable step at a time.
Give yourself grace- This honestly might be the hardest one of all, to me at least, but ALWAYS remember to be kind to yourself. There have been several times where I tried something new and embarrassed the absolute hell out of myself. Actually way too many times. And I remember feeling so discouraged, I would be so hard on myself that I would forget the most important part: that I pushed fear aside and did it anyways.
I’m still figuring things out... who I am, what I want, how to take care of myself and the people I love. Some days I feel steady, other days I don’t. But I’m learning that it’s okay not to have it all together. I’ve started to appreciate the slow parts, the small steps, the quiet wins, the in-between moments that aren't always advertised. Growth isn’t always visible, but it’s happening. Little by little, I’m learning to trust that.
What matters is showing up, being kind, and trying again. That’s enough.
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